About Love, Friendship and Life


ikaw, na nanguha at nang angkin
ng mga salitang hindi sa’yo nanggaling.
maanong sabihan ang iyong tagatitik
na maging maingat sa pagkopya ng isip

wag ka na nga kasing magdeny nang magdeny
at sa pagkomento ay maghinay hinay
nang pagkapahiya ay hindi lumawig
hayan ang ngalan mo – plagiarism ang hawig

Ano nga bang excuse ang iyong sinabi,
Walang nga bang batas na ikaw ay binali.
Alam n’yo po ba ang code of ethics?
kung hindi iyo, give the source some credit!

[angst by the writer]

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Babae ka, tulad nilang bida ang sarili
Kaya mong manindigang higit pa sa mga hari
Hindi ako o sila ang makakapagsabi
Kung ano ang tama at sayo’y makakabuti.

Babae ka mang sa iba ay mahina.
Tandaan mong buhay ay sau nagmumula.
Higit sa libong kirot ang iyong kinakaya
Upang marinig lamang ang unang ‘uha’.

Sino silang sa iyo ay magpupumilit
Kalayaang mamili, sa iyo’y ipagkakait?
Hindi ang kanilang buhay ang nabibingwit
sa hukay ng kamatayan ‘pag sila ay sumabit.

Babae kang hinahangad at ninanasa..
Nila’ng libog ay hindi kayang isawata.
Pagkatapos ay sasabihing ikaw ang may sala
Sa paghihirap ng iyong pamilya?

Babae kang itinuturing, bagama’t malambing
May bangis ang iyong ganda’t tinig ay may lalim.
Karapatan mo ma’y ipagkait at pilit sikilin
Makakaalpas ka, kung iyong nanaisin.

Last year, I got engaged to my six-year long boyfriend, Michael, a Phd Physics student, and just this May, we tied the knot at Mt. Carmel Parish church witnessed by our family and friends. It was a happy event, of course. It took a lot of our energy just to get through the wedding. What’s with a lot of hand-made articles we tried to include into that occasion.

Crocheted Wedding Garter

Crocheted Wedding Garter

Polymer Clay Momoink for Souvenirs

Polymer Clay Momoink for Souvenirs

Crocheted Bags for Female Principal Sponsors

Crocheted Bags for Female Principal Sponsors

The total number for give aways: 185

The total number for give aways: 185

Crocheted Wedding Chord

Crocheted Wedding Chord

Crocheted Bible Bearer's Pillow

Crocheted Bible Bearer's Pillow

Handmade Wedding Invitation

Handmade Wedding Invitation

And now, barely two months after the wedding, I am entering motherhood. ❤

DSC_0072

 of broken url’s and unresponsive scripts.

of missing parameters to undefined fields.

i pledge this instant noodles and caffeinated drink

and promise to deliver results each week.

 

 

of relentless pursuit to build the xml

of data manipulation and complex sql,

i pledge this sanity and contending will

and promise to make full use of my skill.

 

of function overrides and classes extensions

of custom components and text validations

of absolute layouts and relative dimensions

of invoking event changes and styledeclarations

 

I pledge this endeavor on system design,

on  extending hours for debugging lines

I pledge this equipped analytical mind

and promise to create assigned modules in time.

 

I pledge this cheery attitude and enthusiastic drive

to heighten my spirit and keep up my hype.

and promise to conclude the project at hand

and fashion the product to a money for jam.

Since the mid-sem of 2007 when I decided I won’t continue my MS Physics Degree, (not that I’ve advanced on that course since it was just my first sem.) I became part of the world of Information Technology, specifically on developing web-based applications. 

It’s not much, at the first few weeks on my new world, I studied the basics of web developing then went on actually making applications, studying business systems and how to put them in an (if  else conditions) – like situations, I’ve put up thousands (an exagaration of course) of table definitions having simple to complex relationship of insufferable number of foreign keys. To designing how the UI (gui – pronounced as goowee by mike)  will look like, predicting what stupidity a user might do on a form and to the era of web2.0 – the rich internet application.

From a hopeful (scholar) and researcher, studying the sintering parameters on which a bulk sample of YBCO may or may not lose its ability to superconduct, I became a web developer.

I know, there’s a lot of people like me who pursued a job unrelated to their finished course.. And there’s a lot of people too who keep asking me, why I landed this job.

It’s a mere timing, I guess(and lack of right judgement, stupidity and a bit naivety), a possible career in electronics was offered to me (that would actually bring me to Japan, if you know me, I really wanted to go to that country) right after I was accepted at a humble IT company in UP, so I declined it. After that, I continually declining succeeding offers related to semiconductor industry (both in failure analysis and research & development). Maybe because I was just plain stupid or I feel that UP is still the place I want to be, so I stayed there learning Java – (which used to be ‘only’ a flavor of coffee to me.), SQL, PHP, CSS, and a bit of Javascript.

In all honesty, I enjoy learning. The reason I did not stay much in MS is that, I found myself complaining over and over again about the lack of change in my study habits (and lack of money too!) that I felt that (actually spending my own money for my studies) is not worth it. Besides that I am not that good in Physics. See, in physics you could almost classify people there into two categories: the geniuses (damn them!) and the patient – hardworking ones. And I fall on the second category.  

So I decided to put my ‘hard-working’ attitude on somewhere else since producing research output as fast as what my boyfriend can do is like drinking one whole glass of milk without pooping. 

I am loving my current work now and I feel like I’m in  doing something I like and what I have to (like earning money for real).  

Physics shaped me to become an empowered individual who knows, who can and who does. Working on the other hand, helped me get intact with reality. Become financially independent and responsible and mature enough to deal with a variety of individuals who may or may not think the same way as I do, unlike when you are in a small institute, you (most of the time) have the same wave-lengths same culture almost similar personalities.

Well. i could probably say, I’ve grown up. 😀

(thouhg my height is still 4’11). I am proud that I’ve learned and still learning.

Life has been cruel, I think it is.
For someone sweet and kind.
I think that it’s been unfair
For someone who just loves.

Has reasoned all cause and caused reasons
To hate and curse the world.
Has bottled grief and released all angst
Yet manage to be bold.

Someone has cried so much it hurt
Yet dealt with pain alone.
Given so much, ‘til none is left
Nothing, except its own.

Someone craves for something plain
A care that she deserves.
She yearns for nothing else but love
Love that should long been served.

Life has been cruel, maybe it has
For you who is sweet and kind.
I think it’s been that unjust
For you who just want love.

Have reason to hate and curse the world
Yet you still find a cause
To feel, to hope, to care, to dream
You manage to be that strong.

You cried for years. Still cries ‘til now.
The pain’s too much to bear
You’ve given every bit of you
Leave something to spare

I want to give what you crave for
A gift I can’t just buy.
Want you to have what you deserve
Something worth your smile

Life may’ve been too much, my friend.
Just stay as sweet and as kind.
If you want to cry. Do cry some more.
But don’t get tired to love.

Loving maybe your greatest woe.
But it’s your greatest strength
That’s why you always find a cause
That’s what you are my friend.

You may no longer stop crying
Until pain wears you out.
But no matter how much you cry
Your heart will be as tough.

To dream more. To crave for more.
To love and will to love.
So I ask you to stay as sweet and pure.
And still believe in love.

– September 28, 2008.

All my life, I have been searching for the things I want and the place to belong to. I have made decisions that changed my life and affected my way of thinking and I was able to handle them gracefully and lived my life to the fullest. It has been my goal to always be happy in what i do, endure the bad things, encourage challenges and enjoy them afterwards. It is my way of living. I always have questions some of them may not be answered right now, but i do not content myself with not finding the answers.

I am a fan of live and animated series, all of them with one distinguishing theme: To be yourself and do what you want to do.

Though I have been happy in this kind of work, a little part of me is asking if this is what I want to be, and is this where i want to be.

I find myself not being able to answer it for months. I felt that trivial things such as this does not matter much and I have to move forward and so I opted to stay. But this thought has been pounding my head so hard I feel I need to make another decision.

I feel insecure. About leaving, of course, because this may mean there’s no going back. But I have to face this one with my head held high and be able to go on finding the answer to that question. If I make it or don’t, I can still say to myself that it is me that makes my life happen. And I will not stop moving forward.

I hope you could help me by supporting me and wishing me goodluck.

 

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